If the world exists objectively then so do objective truths about it. And if objective truths about the world exist, then statements about the world can be objectively false, in which case the set of false statements includes any statement that denies either the existence of objective truth or the possibility of objectively false statements. “Postmodernist” philosophical theories therefore declare themselves to be false, either by implying that the world exists objectively while denying that statements about it can be objectively false—which is a contradiction—or by denying the existence of the objective world, which contradicts the existence of any objective things, including postmodernist philosophical theories themselves. Unfortunately, some postmodernist philosophical theories take one terminal step toward self-annihilation to endure these contradictions: they embrace contradiction.